-on the dangers of a secret

written by: Sanzida Begum

We all have secrets, some are small, some are big. Sometimes we’ll share some of these secrets. But there are other secrets we refuse to tell anyone. Secrets we’re ashamed of and secret’s we’re afraid of. Secrets we attempt to avoid till we absolutely cannot. And these secrets, the one’s that we hold in and no one knows about are the most dangerous of them all. 

Because here’s the thing about those secrets: they can and will tear you apart. They will pull you apart, piece by piec e till all there is left of you is a mess of broken pieces waiting to be fixed. They will tug and pull at your heart, till they break your heart into a million and one shards; shards so sharp, they can stab you to death. They will bring you down and cause you to sink to your lowest point because there are no such things as a harmless secret. They will be your worst enemy, so vicious and vile, that they will claw at you till, all there is left of you are scars and fears.

Here’s the thing about those secrets: they will drive you to insanity, because here you are harboring a secret so dangerous, you have no idea what will happen to you. They will push through your mind, refusing to let you think about anything else but them, demanding to be the center of your attention. They will be the only thing on your mind, till all you can do is succumb to their darkness and let them rule your mind. And they will fight to push you into the deeper end, unless you learn to stand up to them and push them out of your mind. 

Here’s the thing about secrets: they're painful. They will emotionally abuse you and push you around. They will hurt you and take you to the brink of giving up. They will make you feel like you have nothing left in this world. You’ll walk around, with the weight of the secret on your heart and you will push away everything and everyone you hold dear to you because you're in this stage of asleep, where all you want to do is be tucked away in the comforts of your sheet. And no I do not mean asleep in the literal sense, but rather a point where the depression has gotten to you and it's so hard for you to be aware of the reality of things. A point where you no longer know what it’s like to freely breathe and be alive. 

Here's the thing about secrets: you can make sure they won't control you. You can fight them. You can push them out of your mind, your heart, your life. You can get rid of them. And all you have to do is learn to trust. You have to learn to trust the people you hold dear to you. You have to learn to trust that they will not judge you because of this secret. You have to learn to trust that they will be there for you, because they are. They are in your life for a reason and you love them for a reason. Somewhere in your mind, you know that these people that will hug you and be your shoulder to cry on in your times of need, truly do love you. You know that they want you to be happy. You know that you can tell them. But for some reason, these secrets have struck fear in your and planted doubt into your heart and that’s why you haven’t told anyone yet. But in the end of the day, you know what is true and what is an illusion. 

So if you’re harboring secrets such as these, trust the ones you love and let them into your heart like you always have. Open your heart and let them know because only then can you let yourself become free from the hold of these secrets.